Tony A. Smith

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The Things We Say

I'm Dog Tired

Have you ever stopped to really pay attention to some of the things we say in our day-to-day conversations?  Now some of them I can half-way understand, but some phrases we use should just not be said at all!  They don’t make a lick of sense.  Whatever that means?  Take a look at these phrases and let me know if you feel the same way.

  • My dogs sure are tired. ( I suppose that means feet – but why not just say feet?)
  • Why do they call it a hot water heater?  (Isn’t hot water already hot?  Why heat it up again?)
  • Lawyers, dentists and doctors all seem to practice what they do.  (I don’t know about you, but I think I would much rather go to someone who wasn’t still practicing at what they do.)
  • Menopause – (Now really, what does that have to do with men?  The only thing I can think of is we are the ones that get griped at if the temperature is not right in the house.)
  • I think I’ll go jump in the shower. (Really!  Don’t you think you could get a lot cleaner if you weren’t jumping all around in the shower?)
  • Do you want to run to the store with me? (Why is it when you ask me to run to the store that you end up taking the car?  Just tell me I don’t need to go get my running clothes on to run the five miles to the store and back.  By the way, how are you going to get all that stuff you buy back to the house?)
  • Now tell me what is a bait and switch?  (Why would you want to spank your minnows before you put them on the line to fish?)

Now that's the cat's meow

  • Okay so what is it with the term CAT scan?  (Most cats I have ever seen end up sleeping most of their life and don’t have much time with their eyes open to scan anything.)
  • That movie was the cat’s meow.  (The movie had nothing to do with cats or meowing!)
  • My dog is a good watchdog!  (Okay – well keeping time I guess is important but most people use their iPhones for that now.)
  • He was sitting on the fence in that conversation.  (I just hope the fence didn’t have barbed wire at the top.)
  • She was a real card shark.  (Is that a shark that eats bloody cards or what?)
  • So tell me what does partly cloudy mean?  (Is that different from partly sunny?)
  • He said he was all fired up and ready to play ball.  (Okay – I suppose we should bring some fire extinguishers or at least have your finger on the ready to call 911 on your cell phone.)

Fat as A Pig

  • I ate so much I am as fat as a pig.  (So why pick on pigs.  Aren’t there other animals that are bigger like cows, whales, bears, and walruses to name a few.)
  • She was as big as a barn.  (Why pick on barns?  I know there are other buildings that are much bigger.)
  • Take a picture, it lasts longer.  (I get it, quit staring at me)
  • Can you please cut to the chase?  (I think this referred to the old silent films where they had chase scenes and they were the best part.  How many people do you know that have ever even seen a silent film?)

That's No Bull

  • That’s no bull.
  • Full as a bull.
  • The check is in the mail.  (Don’t a lot of people online or by credit card now?)
  • Crazy as a loon. ( So how do you determine if a loon is crazy? – Is there some sort of  psychological testing that can be done on birds?)
  • The lights are on but no one is home. (It seems like that sure would waste a lot of electricity to me unless you were trying to fool the burglars for some reason not a bad idea.)
  • He was a few cards short of a full deck. (If that is the case, then why even have a card game?)
  • She was barking up a dead tree.  (Is that different from barking down a dead tree or barking at a dead tree?)
  • I’m on the clock. (If you are on the clock it is probably worthless now!)

Sweet Dreams

  • He was preaching to the choir. (I thought the choir needs preaching just like everyone else?)
  • She was a real corker. (What?)
  • I see his lips moving but he’s not saying anything worthwhile. ( I get it! You are talking about a true politician.)
  • Don’t let the cat out of the bag? (Now who in their right mind would put a cat in a bag to begin with?)
  • Happy as two peas in a pod.  (How do you determine the happy factor for peas?)
  • He was half a bubble off.  (If it’s not level then try to level things up – if that doesn’t work, get a new level.)
  • They said the new iPhones were selling like hot cakes.  (I suppose hot cakes generally sell fast,  at least at IHOP unless it is a slow day?)
  • Time to hit the hay.
  • Sweet dreams.

8 Comments

  1. tabitha59reachingout says:

    These are funny, all right. Thanks for the chuckle. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for dropping by Debbie!

    Like

  3. Fun! I’d forgotten some of these. Let me add one: he’s one brick shy of a load. Oh, and another: she’s as ugly as a box of dirt. … His elevator missed a floor. Dumber than a box of rocks.

    ….time for me to hit the hay. Nite all!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jjspina says:

    Enjoyed these. No wonderful they call the English confusing! Another one is three short of a six pack! Lol! Blessings of the day!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ropheka says:

    Thanks for brightening up my day. Never heard of some of these. They are the cats meow

    Liked by 1 person

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