It’s getting to be that time of year when we all start gathering for the holidays! It’s a very happy and joyful time for many of us, but it’s an extremely stressful time for some who cringe at the very thought of getting together with others on the holidays. They have to face another round of holiday hand grenades in their circle of family and friends who attack each other non-stop with various verbal battles and tactics. Take a look at some of these domestic military maneuvers and personality types that are often seen over the holidays.
Sarcastic Sarah Belle
You know the type! This is the type of person who looks for every opportunity to say something sarcastic to you. “You look like you slept in that dress.” “That shirt makes you look like a baby whale.” Almost every word out of their mouth is derogatory. The things that they say are hurtful and insulting most of the time.
The truth is, most sarcastic people have a confidence issue. They try to elevate themselves above you in their insecurities to make themselves feel more important. Many flame throwers of sarcasm think their sarcasm is humorous. Guess what? It’s not!
Here are some ideas as to how you might be able to deal with the person who chooses the weapon of “sarcasm” as his choice of verbal abuse this holiday season.
1) Call their bluff and tell them directly that you don’t appreciate their hurtful and demeaning words.
2) Repeat back to them what they say so that they can hear what their words sound like to you.
3) Pretend you don’t know what they are saying.
4) Come back at them and tell them to stop what they are doing. Stand up for yourself!
You have all seen this type! These are the people who always want you to do something for them. The more you do, the more they want you to do. ” Can I borrow your pick-up truck to haul some furniture this weekend?” “Oh, and also, if you’re not doing anything would you mind helping me move my furniture too?” “Since you are going to the store anyway, would you mind picking up my groceries for me too? I’ll pay you.” “Would you mind picking up my kids after school, I have to get my hair and nails done today?”
It seems like there is always a never-ending list with Needy Nellie. She always has something else for you to do and does not hesitate to ask for help. You unfortunately seem like you are always available and seem to make a way to accommodate her very need. These are the type of people who will take full advantage of you. I am not saying to not help those who are truly in need, I am just saying don’t let it go to an extreme.
Here is an idea on how to stop Needy Nellie in her tracks!
1) Learn how to say no! It is really quite alright to say no and gain your own sanity back at the same time. You are the master of your own life – not Needy Nellie. Don’t feel guilty either like many people do when they say no. Start practicing saying the word no and it might just start feeling okay after a while. Start off my looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing your lips pursed at the end of the pronunciation of the word “no”! Now see – doesn’t that feel better?
Know It All Kelly
Know It All Kelly can be an extremely frustrating person to be around. They are the person who knows everything about everything, or at least they think they do. They tend to want to talk over you and dominate all the discussions with their know-it all expertise. This is the type of person who also has a self-confidence issue and seeks to elevate themselves above others by standing on the steps of their expert opinions, facts, and thoughts that they have built!
Don’t put up with it! Don’t let them bulldoze you any longer. Here are some thoughts as to how you might be able to deal with Mr. Know It All Kelly.
1) Know your own facts and have them ready to go when you get together with Kelly.
2) Ask questions to drill down on the reality of Kelly’s facts! Are they really all fact or part fiction? Ask them what sources they used for their information.
3) Try to remain calm and not get agitated, but don’t be bulldozed. Take Kelly’s construction equipment away.
This is the type of person that has to please everyone around them. They are very compliant and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings if they can at all help it. They are extremely hard to get a decision out of. They crave the approval of others and are generally very sensitive people. They are afraid someone won’t like them if they don’t do what they want.
Now try making Christmas dinner with them and getting them to make a decision about what should be made. “What would you like to have for Christmas dinner Patricia?” “Oh, I don’t know what would you like to have?” “I want whatever you want.” Can you see what would happen if two “Pleasing Patricia’s” ever got together? The family might not ever eat dinner!
How do you deal with a Pleasing Patricia? That’s a real tough one. This is the only thing I know to do.
1) Try turning the conversation back on them and tell them you want to do whatever they want to do, and that whatever they decide will not hurt your feelings. Assure them again that it will not hurt your feelings and you are okay with whatever they decide.
Life would be a lot easier I guess if we didn’t have to deal with difficult people wouldn’t it? Watch out for all those hand grenades over the holidays!